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The Mask That Makes Us Honest? |
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Written by Michael R. Walker
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Tuesday, 22 April 2008 00:00 |
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I just read an interesting article on MSNBC, about video game addictions. What gets people addicted to these things so much that we've heard stories about neglected children, destroyed marriages, and even death by self-neglect - seriously, read the article - for the sake of the game world?
The article is likely right in pointing to the appeal of the "social" nature of many of these games, such as World of Warcraft. And it tells of one married couple where the man loved gaming, but his wife felt neglected. Desperate to save the marriage, she agreed to start playing the game with him. Eventually, they went their separate ways in the game, since she couldn't keep up. But she found other friends in the game and plays it all the time. Asked about the allure of the virtual world, here's how she replied: "People in the game are a lot more genuine then they are in real life,” she says. “Being hidden behind this mask of your character, you’re able to be a little more open and honest with people because they don’t know who you are."
You can probably guess what I'm going to say about this heart breaking sentiment. Set aside for a moment the fact that she entered this "other world" to be with her husband but is now on her own separate voyage in that world with others she feels accept her and care for her (they give her "gold" to use in the game, for instance). I don't want to sound like a typical basher of "virtual communities" - I'm a Facebook devoté. But it does say something about the harshness of our human communities (or even our marriages) when many find that, in order to be "a little more open and honest with people," we must don the mask. Note the deep irony in this woman's words. She's being honest - true to herself, saying what she really thinks, etc. - when she's "hidden behind this mask." In other words, in order to be herself, she must be someone else. In order to be present as our self, we must not be present to ourselves. (This kind of thing is unfortunately common in marital affairs, too, where often we embrace self-alienation as a means of self-expression - step out of our own lives in order to get what we think we really want.) It's a tortuous cycle.
Pascal once said, "Human beings must be known to be loved." And yet our frail and disordered condition tells us that to be loved, we must not be known. And there is plenty in our own experience of life to lead us to this conclusion: when we give ourselves to be known, love is not often what we receive in return. So we do not give ourselves and are not known, and are therefore unloved.
As a Christian, I do believe that God in Jesus Christ is the only one who both knows us completely and loves us unconditionally. And the simple call to love others as we have been loved by God should be seen as a radical way of life that undercuts the self-alienation that plunges the human self into an empty abyss. It's a call to stop the tortuous cycle, in our own lives and for the lives of others. When others let themselves be known, we are called to offer them in return the love that we have received. And we can give ourselves to be known, because the security of our own souls is not hanging in the balance, waiting for acceptance in return. We have already received it and with it can overcome any this-worldly rejection.
So, the article convicted me. Too often you'd be fair to characterize me the way the woman in the article characterizes our society. Hopefully without sounding trite, it's safe to say that the more Christians embrace the simple but profound call to mutual self-giving, the fewer hearts we'll leave to search for acceptance in a different world. |
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